West of the Moon

A Tolkien Fanfiction Archive



Hobbits love their gossip--they don't have LJ.
Author: Angharad
Rating: PG


Hobbiton was buzzing with the latest gossip. At every gate, in every corner, field, garden, parlour and tap room the locals were sharing and embellishing and tutting with ever increasing enthusiasm.

"I couldn't believe my ears, Violet, Frodo Baggins! I always thought there was something not quite right there . . ."

"Gaffer Gamgee's just come in . . . don't talk so loud, Bonto!"

"It's not as though I'm one to make trouble but did you hear about what they were doing on the bridge last Highday? I wish I'd been there . . ."

"With the < i>gardener, Lobelia! You must feel so wretched, my dear. I think I'd just < i>hide if was a connection of mine . . ."

"Don't do that right now, love, I'm trying to tell you about Frodo Baggins and . . ."

* * *

Sam Gamgee stretched, yawned and rolled out of his narrow bed. He could hear the lasses laughing in the kitchen and smiled happily. Outside the birds were piping and calling back and forth and the hungry demands of new lambs were answered by reassuring grunts from their dams.

He had to go to Bywater today; Mister Frodo needed more ink and parchment. There'd be time to repaint the front door of Bag End when he got back and more than time for . . . A sharp knock on the door distracted him from his reverie.

"Aye, Daisy-lass, I'm up."

* * *

" . . . and Lily Proudfoot saw them walking hand-in-hand down by the Water. I blame Bilbo of course; he never set any limits for that Brandybuck lad and now we can all see where that kind of attitude leads."

"You too? I'm glad I'm not the only one, Bonto. Shh! That old hobbit's got ears like a fox."

"Do you like my new bracelet? They wandered off at the Boffin's party last week and when they came back . . ."

"He hasn't the < i>slightest notion of what's owed to family. You must be so dreadfully disappointed. What a pity Bilbo adopted him right under your nose. Did you hear about the Boffin party last week?"

"Aagh! Stop! They always. . . look . . . happy . . . don't they?"

* * *

Sam didn't notice the odd looks directed his way as he walked past the 'Green Dragon' and headed for 'Grubb's Booksellers and Stationery'. He hummed a little tune and thought about the cosy parlour at Bag End: about sittin' there with Mister Frodo readin' from his collection of Elvish translations and relaxing against Sam's own strong body.

* * *

"I couldn't believe her effrontery, Violet! A little nobody from Bywater, but she did tell me that Celandine Budgeforth saw them kissing in the front garden and that Frodo had his hand down . . ."

"Samwise is rather attractive . . . I've never said otherwise . . . his shoulders are so very broad: don't tell me to hush!"

"No, dearest, I'm quite put out. Frodo Baggins is just too handsome for words! I think I'm about to fall into some kind of fashionable decline. Are you quite sure this dress isn't too tight in the waist?"

"Of course, we all know that the miserable Gamgee is just pandering to the Gentry in an attempt to raise his standing. Do you think the Baggin's might . . . < i>Can I fetch your smelling salts, Lobelia?

"Do it again! Oh!"

* * *

Sam had finished his chores and washed his feet in the bucket by the side door. He knew that Frodo was waiting for him somewhere inside the smial. "Mister Frodo?"

* * *

"I know it's a dreadful scandal but you have to admit that it's more interesting than Tulip's interminable moaning about Freddy's infidelities. She's such a bore and Freddy's technique in the bedroom is really nothing to . . . er . . ."

"Alright, Bonto! He's very attractive but he's taken! What are you doing with your foot?"

"He could still decide to look for a complacent wife of good sense and good breeding. It's not too late. I am an optimist."

"I'm < i>so< /i> glad you're feeling better. You did look terribly pale for a moment. My darling Perdo told me that they were rolling about in the front garden just last evening . . . naked!"

"You! . . ."

* * *

Sam wrapped his arms around Frodo's slight form and sighed into his neck. He felt as though he was coming home after a long absence. The older hobbit tugged at the gardener's chin and kissed him.

* * *

"I'd best be getting back, Violet, I'm just hopeless when I get chatting . . . You will be coming to our little gathering next week, won't you?"

"Bonto . . . your foot . . . Bonto!"

"Darling, I don't believe in 'never'. You should know that by now!"

"I'll just leave you to rest here on the couch. You know that I feel for your situation more than I can say. I'm sure young Lotho takes your mind off your troubles -do you need a brandy, my dear Lobelia?"

" . . . what was I saying?"


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